Dear diary.....

I've put off writing a response to my challenge this week for the Indie Ink writing challenge as long as I could. As soon as I saw my challenge, I knew what the topic needed to be, but I've been unable to bring myself to sit down and write it. I apologize if this comes out a bit rough and raw, but then again, how could it not be.

November 15, 2010

Happy Birthday Jameson! After 10 months of waiting to see your beautiful face, we were not disappointed. The contractions got to be more than I could handle aqt about 2:30 a.m., and I woke up Miah to tell him that it was time to go. I phoned my parents, got my bag that we had packed, and we were off to the hospital. I was thrilled to learn when we arrived that I was indeed in active labor, 3 centimeters dilated, and was admitted and wheeled up to our room. My mom and dad arrived around 4, right after my epidural was administered. I was grateful that the pain was manageable when they arrived, so that they didn't have to see me like that. My labor progressed quickly, and when the time came my dad retreated to the waiting room to hear the news of your arrival. Miah held my leg, and my mom cut the chord, and we welcomed you into the world at 12:29 pm. I held you and fell in love. While the nurses cleaned and swaddled you, my mother fetched my father. He came into the room, ruffled my hair, and told me how proud he was of me. He crossed the room, and Miah put you into his arms and he gazed at you with wonder and amazement. Tears filled his eyes as he too fell in love with his grandson. It was the best day of my life.

October 10, 2015

After 10 years in the making, today was my wedding day. I've never felt more beautiful than I did standing at the end of the aisle in my dress with my father. I've dreamed since I was a kid of him walking me down the aisle, and giving me away, and it was better than in my dreams. The ceremony was simple, the vows were our own, and then we kissed and were husband and wife. We took way too many photos, and then it was time for the reception. Everyone has always told me that they remember their wedding as a blur, and tonight I know what they mean. The food, the toasts, the guests passed like a dream. I'll never forgot the how amazing Miah looked, waiting for me at the end of the aisle... so beautiful and perfect like someone had drawn him standing there. I'll also never forget dancing with my father. With Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely" playing in the background, he told me that I was lovely. He said he was so proud of the women that I had become, and through teary eyes he beamed at me and told me he loved me. Aside from the birth of my son, it was the happiest day of my life.

September 14, 2008

I was having a lazy day at home with Miah, sitting in my pajamas watching the "E True Hollywood Story" of Hugh Laurie. I heard a car door slam, and looked out the window. I saw my mother getting out of the car with my godfather, and his wife. I was rather confused by them just showing up without warning, since I lived 2 hours away, and went into the other room to give Miah a heads up that they were here. I opened the door, and knew something was wrong. My mother looked me in the eye, and said that my father had died that morning. I screamed at the top of my lungs, ran from the room, and threw up. I took a few minutes, and I mustered up all the composure that I could and went back out to face them. I learned that with no forewarning my father had taken his own life that morning while my mother was at work. Later that night, with plans to travel home the next morning to start making arrangements, I sat in the dark trying to drown my sorrows with beer and trying to make sense of something that didn't make sense at all. The thoughts that kept invading my mind were these: that my father would never meet my children; that I had no one to walk me down the isle at my wedding.  Up to this point, today was the worst day of my life.

My challenge this week was from FlamingNyx and the challenge was
"Rewrite your history by changing one definitive moment."